Being Yourself: Speaking Your Mind

Being Yourself: Speaking Your Mind

            So this post I’m gonna get really serious with you guys because this is a very important topic for me because it has caused me some trouble that I want you guys to avoid. I’m not saying it had the biggest repercussions in the world but regardless of that it still could save you guys several headaches if you listen.

            Ever since I was born I was not someone who kept their mouth shut. Now you may know someone exactly like this or you may not, maybe you are that person. In any case, I wouldn’t let people get away with saying things about me or my family/close friends without letting them know what I think about it. On top of that, I’m a loud person so that person I’m directing my speech to isn’t going to be the only one who hears what I say (which was never really the nicest things in the world). I’m totally okay with doing that, what I’m not okay with however, are the people that let it slide time after time to the point where it eventually turns into a form of bullying and they just let it happen. I can’t stand that. I love it when people stand up for themselves because then their true character shines through and it’s blatantly obvious that they are independent and can take care of themselves. Those people I promise you will rule the world one day, no doubt about it. Anyways, I sympathize with those who aren’t willing to stand up for themselves because I don’t like to watch them get pushed around. Now what I should have learned back then was just because I don’t like them getting made fun of, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s your fight to handle, or one that you can even handle in the first place. This doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t get involved. Instead help them let their voice be heard, rather than shouting your own in their defense. The same principles apply to society, which is a common factor as to why people are not always speaking out, and rather having to do it behind everyone’s backs for fear of being heard by someone who won’t like it. I speak my mind constantly, but I keep my filter, so that I don’t insult someone or come off rude, but I learned to adapt and make my voice nice but still opinionated. Not everyone is going to like what you have to say either. That’s just something you are going to have to live with because you can’t please everybody no matter how hard you try. Finally, you’re not always going to get the reaction out of people that you want and you are going to have to realize that that is what you risk by saying things that have a chance of hurting people’s feelings.

Don’t let simple things like that stop you, speak your mind and what you’re feeling because you will feel a lot better if you do. Filter what you say around others so that you don’t offend them yet still say what you want to get off your chance, and lastly, don’t change for anybody, no matter how much it sets you apart from others, be your own person and live up to your own standards. Love you guys. And Peace!

Personality: The Tornado Siren

Personality: The Tornado Siren

            Have you ever been with a group of people and you are all hanging out and having a good time, and then one of your friends invites one of their own friends, and that’s when things start to change. Suddenly the conversation goes from equal talking sharing from everyone, to mainly that friend…why? BECAUSE THEY ARE LOUD AS HELL AND WON’T SHUT UP!!! It’s not that we can’t keep talking to each other equally but because this new person is so loud it’s practically forced our attention upon them, which is exactly what they want.

            In this situation, the goal of the codename: Tornado Siren is to get everyone’s attention by being louder than everyone else. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but to everyone else it seems like a literal cry for attention. First it’s the Tornado Siren simply saying hi to everyone, in a louder tone than normal, but the minute someone asks them a question that’s when all hell breaks loose. That’s like their call sign to suddenly be louder than everyone else in the room and have you leaving the place with their voice ringing in your ears. My theory behind these people (because sure I have a louder voice than others but it’s nothing compared to this person) is that they have some issues with being heard at home. Now keep in mind I’m not trying to pry into any of their lives with hopes of understanding but from other experiences I’ve noticed that these people develop because no one at home likes to listen to them. So to get the attention that they deserve they MAKE SURE that everyone can hear them. Now not everyone is like this when they grow up that way but it happens a lot. In recent years my brother has in a way taken the role of main event in my own household whereas it used to be me. He gets my parents attention more and since I had already gotten enough attention it didn’t bother me to sit back and let him soak up the limelight. He used to be really shy but now he is loud and flamboyant and it’s definitely an attention-getter. My opinion about the Tornado Siren is this, yes I agree that you should get paid more attention to, but that doesn’t mean you have to yell, there are other ways to get peoples attentions such as subtle conversation that turns into a funny joke, which in turn gets more people to listen and join in. I guarantee you that the spotlight is always fun yes, but I think being a part of a group is so much more rewarding because you have people right next to you that are enjoying the fun just as much as you and it feels good. I always feel like I’m a part of something rather than an attention hog trying to make everyone laugh and like me.

            I’ll leave with this little note to Tornado Siren, you don’t have to be the life of the party every time you walk through the door. Nor do you have to be an invisible fly on the wall. Instead, I challenge you to find a happy medium with your friends, and tone it down a few decibels, just enough so that I can still hear by the end of the night.

Being Yourself: Not Caring What They Say

Being Yourself: Not Caring What They Say

            In everyone’s life, there will be people who judge you. Not just judge you by the surface, but by every living piece of you and every single part of your soul that you hold dear. This can’t be stopped nor controlled by you. So it’s the common question, what can we do? Well, a lot of us like to say, nothing, nothing at all. But what does that make us then? Cowards to the truth? Pushovers that fall towards the evil depths of societal ideals? No one is perfect, and you’ve heard that a million times I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being who you really are just because other people don’t necessarily agree.

            I have a friend, who in elementary school seemed like just another kid to me, but it turns out he was very different from everyone else. He told me of times where kids would make fun of him just because he played a certain card game that certain kids thought was nerdy. I never really talked to him during this time and never really knew the struggle that he went through. He was cast out by practically every social group except for his own and actually got teased a lot. I was oblivious to all of this. I didn’t know what was going on, nor did I really care, I was too busy thinking about my own life at the time. It wasn’t until much later that I learned more about him. I felt so guilty not doing anything about it or knowing what was going on with him. He was affected pretty badly by this but never let the words get to him like anybody else would. I was amazed by this, after all the rough times he had been through, why had he not changed just so it would stop. I brought this point up one day to him in later years and he told me one thing I won’t ever forget. He said “I’m never gonna sacrifice who I am for who people want me to be. I would rather die being myself, than live in the shadow of others”. Now for him being a high school student when he told me this, it was probably the deepest and most true thing I have ever heard. From that point on I chose to live by those words, they ring so true in my head and in my soul that I won’t let anyone change what I think for me.

            So many people I see in school live in the shadow of others and try to fit to the mold that society tells them they should be in. Yet life in itself is so much better when you are happy with yourself, rather than constantly trying to live for others approval. Changing for other people to like me is one thing I will never do in my life, not after all that I’ve seen and heard from others who are lost in the blinding glory of being appreciated by someone other than themselves for two seconds and then discarded again only to search for that next praise someone can give them.  I refuse to be one of those people, I choose to stand out from the crowd every day. In my own shape and form. You should too, because life is worth a lot more when you do.

Personality: The Turtle in the Shell

Personality: The Turtle in the Shell

            Whenever you hang out with a bunch of friends in a large group, you see all kinds of people. The loud and obnoxious, the funny and comical, the laughers, the self-centered, the gossip Queen/King, etc. But then as you scan the group, as everyone is talking and having a good time, you see the one person who sticks out like a sore thumb: the shy one. My opinion on these kind of people are very mixed because I notice the goods as well as all the bad in this personality that just frustrate me.

            This person that you see that makes it difficult to even finish a complete sentence makes me frustrated beyond belief and yet kind of happy at the same time. Originally, when I saw these kind of people, it frustrated me, because they were so reserved and quite frankly really boring. They would bring almost no content to the conversation when presented the opportunity, and were so reserved that it made me mad because I thought they were just wasting life experiences but not sharing or being with anybody. They were, in my eyes, just taking up space (harsh I know but my opinion changes) and not really good for anything. I noticed these same patterns throughout my life and it’s always with the same shy people up until about 8^th grade when my opinion was influenced greatly by a certain event.

            I was with a bunch of friends and we were hanging out after school doing a PACT activity. It was all the same friends and the exact same shy person every single time we would hang out and I never noticed anything different. That was, until I caught them actually talking to someone, well, they were more whispering, and giggling about something that the shy one was pointing out. This made me think, “There has got to be more to this than meets the eye”. So I took it upon myself to get these two people alone with me (the shy one and her friend that was also one of my good friends) and figure out what the shy person was really like. So again, one of the days where we stayed after, I purposely messed with some of the video equipment, as it was a video documentary class and my friend and the shy one were part of the tech crew. I told them there was an issue and they were sent to go fetch the teacher who knew how to fix those problems, I suggested I go with them so that I could explain the “problem” with the teacher. The teachers office was basically across the school from where we were filming so I got some quality time with these people, and low and behold, right off the bat, the shy girl (yes it was female, they both were)started talking and making jokes with my friend. It was amazing. She became a completely different person from what I thought originally. She was funny and goofy in a nerdy way and was entertaining to listen to. I began asking her questions so that I could learn more about her and I found out just how talented she was. She was an artist, very instrumental and very smart. I made a new friend that day. I viewed her not necessarily shy, but rather, humble. Not boasting of her talents or her personality to others unless asked. She was like a hidden gem. I appreciated that. So to all you shy people out there… I salute you.

Being Yourself: Your Body

Being Yourself: Your Body and You

 

            Have you ever looked into the mirror and thought, wow, not my best day? Or perhaps you have seen pictures of yourself and genuinely not been happy with how you look? Perhaps you have seen all the things that you think are horrible about yourself, and gotten so down on yourself that your self-esteem turned to practically nothing? Believe me I’ve been there. Not nearly as bad as some teenagers who have it pretty rough, but nonetheless, I’ve definitely looked down on myself in some sort of way.

            In all my years of being fairly chubby in elementary and middle school, I’ve never really known what it’s like to feel good about my skin and the way I look. I guess I’ve just never really cared at all. I had hair that went down to almost my shoulders, I was chubby, had really rosy cheeks, been good at sports, but never fit, and most of all, I had horrible buck teeth and a gap in between to fit. I was not the best thing to look at during the day. The only reason people probably stood to be around me was because of my personality. I’ve been told a lot that many people like the way I am, not so much the way I look. Let’s face it I just was never on a girl’s attractive radar gun they always carried around in their backpacks. All the way up until freshman year of high school I never cared, but then high school changed me. I began to compare myself to others, look to harshly at my figure, want to do something about it but never drove myself to, I cared and cared and cared. I cared what people thought of me, I thought I had to be everyone’s friend and I had to accommodate myself to what they like just so I could fit in. I never thought about what I really wanted. Practically all throughout freshman year I thought I was doing a decent job of being everyone’s friend and I had also lost the skater boy long haircut by then too. By the end of the year however I got the biggest wakeup call in my life. I heard that someone hated me, and that they found me REALLY annoying. That hurt me, this had been a person that I wanted to be super good friends with and tried really hard too. What’s worse is that I actually thought they liked me.

            Beginning of sophomore year I decided mentally that I wasn’t going to care what anyone thought of me anymore. I still cared about how I looked but mostly because I wanted to get in shape. This motive made me join a class that changed my life, and it was one you wouldn’t really expect. I joined a Performance P.E. class. It taught me ways to get healthy through eating, simple workouts and repetition that helped me get into the best shape of my life. I felt good. I even thought I looked good. I had confidence in myself that will last me a long time. My life changed tremendously because of how I thought about myself, rather than about what others thought of me. I even had a friend tell me they liked me better because I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I was just staying true to myself. So my message to y’all is, don’t listen to others if you don’t agree. Just stick to what you think is best for you and stand by it. I believe in you guys. As always, love all of you. Peace! J

Personality: The Calm in Every Storm

Personality: The Calm in Every Storm

 

            Have you ever been in a situation where you and your friends are having a so-called “friendly debate” but then it turns into an all-out war between two opposing sides taking aim and ready to fire explosive vocabulary rounds filled with swearing and vulgar language at each other? Yet amongst all this crossfire, you notice one person keeping their cool, THE ENTIRE TIME, which not only ceases to amaze you but it also makes you question their sanity in the situation? Yes I understand that this is a very specific situation to be in but chances are this has happened to more people than you think.

            This very person that I was talking about previously is the personality that I want to share with you all today. This guy, neigh, this legend, is one of the greatest personalities anyone could ever have. So if you ever find a person with this kind of personality KEEP THEM FOR LIFE. They are (in my personal opinion) some of the greatest people to walk this earth. I will tell you why. First off, they already have skills that unlike most teenagers or people in general, do not have such as: patience, understanding, neutrality in conflicting situations, reasoning, and a great sense of cool and style. I believe this because they don’t ever get upset, or raise their voice, and they love to laugh things off because most things don’t bother them. They also have the skills of the “Deadly Calm” which makes anyone who sees them and notices just how calm they are realizes that they are in a dangerous situation.  I love that so much, how I wish I could master the skills of the “Deadly Calm”. In the situation that I was put in, (with the deadly debate and all) I was so glad that the calm guy was there too. I was arguing with a couple friends about which cereal was better (the options were Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Pebbles and Fruit Loops) and I strongly sided with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. However, my friend (like an idiot) sided with Fruit Loops, a ridiculous choice really if you ask me. The calm guy, chose neither, and avoided all argument. As my friend and I began to get heated about the debate the calm guy could tell where the whole thing was going and quickly decided to stop it in its tracks. He was neutral throughout the entire situation, stopped us both, and gave the perks, as well as the drawbacks of each cereal. Interested in what he has to say, my friend and I both listened intently and were pondering over what he had to say. Not only did we agree that both cereals were awesome, but we got right back to hanging out (which would have been in jeopardy had the calm guy not saved us).

            The last thing I have to say about the calm guy is… Mr. Calm Guy… We salute you.

Being Yourself: Comfortably Living with Something You Can't Change

Being Yourself: Comfortably Living with Something You Can’t Change

            Hey readers, so as you may have noticed (inevitably) in my last post it had a theme of “Personality” with a certain personality type to go along with it. Since my blog is titled Personality and How to Be Yourself, I think it’s a given that I should probably add a blog about being yourself in there as well for some variation.

            This blog post I’m going to keep short and sweet however since it’s an introduction to this subject and rather an easy post to talk about for me. You might be guessing, what the hell does he mean living with something we can’t change? Well what I mean is quite literally that. As human beings we struggle with the subject of change on the daily, many politicians conservatives and progressives alike struggle with the subject of change. Now many changes I think can be beneficial to the environment and the way we live. That’s not exactly the type of change I’m talking about however, this change that I’m talking about, is one that I wish wouldn’t happen as much as it really does. The change that I want to talk to you all about is the change that we bring unto ourselves. That’s right, I’m talking about you. The person that you see in the mirror and think that the person you see isn’t good enough, the person that has to put makeup on just so they like you, or have to style your hair and wear good looking clothes just to be comfortable in your skin. Well I want you to know how I deal with comfortably living with something you just can’t change, your own skin.

            I understand that in certain cases people think that they can indeed change the very skin they live in and I understand where they are coming from. This type of change is not exactly the change I was going to discuss. The change I don’t want to happen is the change we do inside. Not all the physical change such as hair dye, makeup, nice clothes, tattoos, piercings, or even in drastic situations, the very scars you give yourself. I understand how nice it feels to most people to be part of something, such as a social group or simply the general public, in high school more than other cases this rings extremely true. The struggling teen fights for survival socially by trying to fit in in a group that they probably don’t even like half the people in because they are full of drama. I completely understand what that feels like, being accepted by someone, anyone, anyone who makes you feel comfortable, and important. Freshman year of high school I was so determined to have everyone be my friend because I didn’t like being hated. I tried so hard, yet when people still didn’t like me for reasons I will never understand by the end of the year, I got the biggest wake-up call of my life. No matter what I do, I can’t make everyone happy. So I stopped trying, and miraculously, because of some unknown mystical force at work, people started to like me better. I had one friend of mine even flat out tell me they liked me better because I never let whatever came my way affect me very seriously and didn’t even try to be everyone’s friend, I was just friends with whoever accepted me. I learned that, no matter what you do, not everyone will like you for who you are. That’s something that you can’t change, is who you really are inside. As much of a false persona that you put on for others, there is always that part of you buried within that is your true self and your true feelings and thoughts. I promise you people may not always like what you have to say or think about something, but someone else will. You may cover up who you really are but none of it will matter in the long run for your future. Chances are, those people you want to impress in the hallways now, you won’t even see in college or possibly even for the rest of your life. So why does it matter what they think of you now? That’s the mindset that I have developed for myself over the years and it has genuinely changed my life for the better. That’s the kind of change I want you guys to look for in yourselves if you can. I understand this is just hopeful banter to some of you. But I challenge you to try and be yourself for a whole day, say what you think, find your real friends and don’t complain the whole day. Your whole life will be turned upside down but watch how much better it gets. As always guys, thanks for reading J love y’all. Peace!