Personality: The Colossal Smartass

Personality: The Colossal Smartass

            We all know the person, male or female they come in both forms, the quick-responding vigilante that fights the rules of reasons and the sarcastic hero that Gotham deserves (not really). The person that isn’t afraid to put their two-sense in every single conversation, every single flippin’ time. Sure sometimes it’s great for hilarious commentary but other times I just can’t stand it, like seriously. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to write this post without getting really annoyed throughout the entire blog and start ranting.

            Again I say unto you I do not hate these people to death, it’s just sometimes they rub me the wrong way. I like some of the things they say because it can honestly and genuinely entertain my laugh box and make me have a swell time, but when they go too far and say too much is when it really starts to bother me. I can understand maybe a few smartass comments from this person codename: The Colossal Smartass, but when it gets to the point where it starts to sound like constant squabbling from both sides is when I want to take a frying pan to their head and give them a good punchline like: “that joke was a little undercooked.” That would be nice. Also if you were to be a smartass to my own parents, that is a gigantic no-no. I would no longer be allowed any friends because my dad is a smartass himself. But if he gets beat at his own game he becomes pissy and judgmental which is not okay. I wouldn’t be allowed to bring home friends with me anymore and I like doing that so if you plan on joking with my dad with your non-filtered lips, get away from my house. Anyways, I do enjoy my time with some of my friends that are smartasses because they know how to control it and not get on anyone’s bad side. They know how to joke around and also how to stop before it gets really ugly. I remember on one specific time that I went a little too far and it was a really close call (with a teacher no less) and it was close to the end of the school day. My issue with the class is that it was a vocal class. It was also before lunch. And my problem with that is, it really hurts to sing with an empty stomach especially for me. So that day I had no breakfast and that is a huge problem with me because I need to eat. No matter what. Otherwise, it’s not pretty. So I forgot that I had a pop-tart in my bag throughout four of my classes that day (0, 1, 2, and 3 hour) and I found it during choir class. Now the teacher doesn’t really like us eating in class (and by that I mean he absolutely doesn’t allow it) and it didn’t really help that I sat in the very front of the class, but I was desperate and it was a non-fruit flavor (Oreo Crème and I had never had it before so I was super psyched to try it) and I actually unwrapped it and ate it right in front of him. Not a smart idea. We had just finished warm-ups and he was legitimately staring at me with a raised eyebrow, and like an idiot I simply said: “what?” to which he replied: “leave my class and finish it or throw it away right now” (this is teacher talk for just throw it away and we won’t have a problem.) SO I GOT UP AND WALKED OUT OF THE CLASSROOM WITH THE POP-TART! When I step outside the door I take a huge bite and then throw the rest of it into the trashcan conveniently placed outside the door and turn around to find him taking huge angry strides at me in front of the whole class and when he reached me said just loud enough so that only I could hear: “Smart move.” It was so intimidating but I didn’t care. I was cranky and hungry beyond belief.

            So lesson learned guys, just don’t take the smartass comments and/or actions too far because it might just get you into more trouble than its worth. Love y’all. Peace!